Did that title get you all excited?

Well, we are going to talk about sex. As in the more socially neutral term “gender”. (ha, got you there!)

What really is the difference other than the fact that one word probably gets more clicks than the other? According to the World Health Organization gender is a term used to describe characterisitics that are more “socially and culturally constructed and expected” where is sex refers to “biologically determined” characteristics.

Extremely simplified version would be to say sex is what you are born with (hormornes, physical features etc), gender is what you choose to become or adapt into. So yes, this will be a discussion about “gender” and what better way to start than with this gorgeous photo of “worldwide handsome” BTS Jin flaunting Didier Dubot’s genderless La Moire collection necklace. Or Seventeen’s Escoop’s choice of accessory in their music video?

Did that grab your attention?

Great, but this isn’t an article to talk you into how great our product looks and where you can purchase it although believe me, we won’t stop you (editor-inserts-the-link-ever-so-cleverly). We are here to talk about gender and everything about what it means to define yourself as one, or not, or embrace all, which I redefined as being gender”ful”.

Owing to a huge surge in K-Pop and everything K-entertainment related, unlike the western world where muscular, squared-jaws define “hot male”, in the eastern world, the criterions are more “fluid”, including fair-skinned, make-ups, styled hair, lean body, and sometimes very lavish and alluring outfits and seductive looks, most of what could easily be defined as “feminine”.

Whether intentional or not, K-pop idols have been at the forefront of what sociologists define as “gender fluid movement”.

As social animals that we are, dating back to the times when we were cave-people, it is in our evolutionary instinct to fit into a tribe, community, or a group. Otherwise, we are ostracized, left to become supper for wild animals. So it was particularly intriguing and fascinating to see that more and more people are actually actively blurring the gender boundaries at the risk of being “attacked”.

So it was only fair that on a beautiful sunny afternoon, I served this question to my sweet non-binary friend as the waiter brought us our third espressos, something along the lines of:

“So, how do you define yourself, gender-wise?”

He sipped the espresso gently, put it down, rotating the cup handle and said;

“Physically, I have a male body. But gender-wise, I am undefined. I can only love someone when I feel a connection with the person regardless of their physical sexuality.”

Then he added,

“I can be both male and female. Sometimes, I can be as caring and as sensual as some females would. Other times, I can have masculine strength and appeal as well.”

And then I heard myself say,

“Huh, I guess it’s like having superpower. To be able to possess and experience all.”

Our conversation continued till the sunset and walking back home, I kept mumbling the word “superpower”. As I looked up, there was a breathtaking cascade of rainbow sunset, colours that beautifully merged, mixed with one another to create different shades.

Could it be possible that gender too, being feminine and masculine, is just a matter of “spectrum”? I came back home went straight through google search, inspired by the nature’s wonder, leading me to several scientific articles that strongly suggested this is indeed true and also one of the reasons that we, humans, experience emotional changes as we grow older because our hormones become more balanced (fathers’ getting more teary-eyed when watching family movies is one of them).

So what does this being genderless mean in today’s world anyways?

While it can be expressed in such a variety of ways, from guys wearing corsets, fishnets, to girls rocking short hair-cuts and military boots, what is more meaningful and wonderful for me is not how much you show on the outside but how much you can embrace from the inside, by acknowledging that we have the potential to be all if we let it. Afterall, how can we engage in a truly honest and meaningful relationship with ourselves and others if we don’t try to experience, feel and see from their perspectives?

We currently live in a generation where gender-war, gender-hatred, #Metoo movement, overt racism are still prevalent. But if we just dig deep down to the root of it all, discrimination, hate crimes have all started because people think they are “different” from one another, from other groups, other genders, other ethnicities. I can latch an attack on you because I am male and you are female, I can hate you because I am from country A and you are from country B etc.

But are we though? Are we really distinctively different or are we just seeing the different shades of colour pigments of the sunset sky and saying “only the yellow and orange colours are of the sun”?

I can’t speak for everyone but I love rainbow sunset skies and I like the idea of having superpower.

So I choose to be gender-ful, full of life, love, and gender.